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  • When You Are Engulfed in Flames

    When You Are Engulfed in Flames
    David Sedaris

Sara's bookshelf: to-read

April 29, 2008

Principal outs high school students

Via Slog:

A public high school principal in Memphis, Tennessee, outed a pair of gay male students—to their teachers, classmates, and parents—after she found out that they were a couple. The principal also called the mother of one of the boys to tell her that she, “didn’t like gay people and wouldn’t tolerate homosexuality at her school,” and posted the names of the boys on a publicly posted list of known students couples in order to prevent public displays of affection, “hetero and homo.”

In Tuesday’s letter to the Memphis City Schools Board of Commissioners, the ACLU points out that the principal ordered the boys not to even walk or study together at school.

Emails of the school board and principal:

Principal:
Daphne Beasley
BeasleyD@mcsk12.net

The Board of Commisioners:
hartt@mcsk12.net
jonesmartaviusd@mcsk12.net
williamsf@mcsk12.net
whalumkennetht@mcsk12.net
gatewoods@mcsk12.net
MallottBettyJ@mcsk12.net
robinsonp@mcsk12.net
warrenj@mcsk12.net
webbsharona@mcsk12.net

Superintendent:
superintendentward@mcsk12.net

My response that I emailed them:

What you did to those two gay students of yours is absolutely shameful. I am appalled at the lack of compassion, empathy, and judgment that went into such a flagrant violation of the relationship between the student and the school. By outing the students, you intended them to be subjected to harassment, hoped for them to be shamed, and misused your authority. What you succeeded in doing is contributing to the long and storied history of oppression that GLBT people face in our society and others–and I am proud of those kids for standing up to you instead of internalizing what you did, which decades of young GLBT people have done. I am proud of them because they’re not letting you lead to depression or suicide. I am proud of them because they have taken what you thought would shame them and turned it into something that is shameful for you.

I am horrified that you hold such an advanced position in educating our youth.

(just a sidenote: that list in general strikes me as strange and overly, um, zealous on the part of administrators.)

by Sara @ 5:47 pm

April 28, 2008

Who said the cats and dog wouldn’t get along?

This picture was taken on Day Four of living together.

Ha!  I knew they would be cute like this!

by Sara @ 9:54 pm

April 15, 2008

MinneWebCon and the success of the grassroots

I am currently aglow and in awe of what we accomplished yesterday. MinneWebCon wound up being a conference beyond the dreams of those of us who started gathering last fall and geeking out over our shared desire to have a conference that addressed the needs of those of us who are craftsmen (ty to Eric Meyer for that usage) of the Web. (And craftswomen. Craftspeople. Craftsgeeks.)

I had a great time in the sessions I attended and am craving the podcasts of the social networking and microformats sessions that I missed. This first conference reaffirmed my belief that the University is full of smart, talented, dedicated people who are leading in their various areas–and that people from outside the U would want to hear us and others talk about these things. It means that the things we’re interested in are the things others are interested in.

Honestly, the number of non-U people in attendance was humbling and mind-boggling to me (I believe it was 1/3).

Also, I had a great time presenting–but I dig getting up in front of people and doing my thing. It’s fun for me.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for coming–thanks to those I met in person and those who were twittering (tweeting? I’m new to that. I’ve caved. I was trying to avoid it.) with all the #minnewebcon stuff.

Hopefully next year will be better–considering none of us had put on a conference before, I think we did damn well. Or, rather, we were fucking awesome. But I’m not prone to hyperbole or anything…

by Sara @ 12:35 pm

April 7, 2008

MIA

I know that I’ve been sadly MIA lately.  Work has been so busy that I don’t want to post when I have a break or lunch because I so desperately need to not be around my computer.

If the next couple of weeks go well, I’ll be back and have pictures for you of the other reason I’ve been MIA.  Oooh.  Suspense….

by Sara @ 9:09 am

March 17, 2008

The strange, interconnected world we live in (and Happy St. Patrick’s day!)

Back in the day when I had a black and white screen computer and a 2400 baud modem … you know, like 1997 … I really had no idea things would be the way they are right now. The ways in which our lives are publicly consumable–sometimes intentionally, sometimes not so–is a little strange.

I noticed this weird trend after the 10 year high school reunion I had no desire or reason to attend. It was 2005 and suddenly all these people I went to high school with were looking at my Friendster account. I’ll interject here that it’s not like I disliked any of them, nor do I harbor real resentment against the vast, vast majority of people I spent my childhood/teenage years with. I knew a lot of decent people, and a number of people who I really enjoyed spending my time with.

The thing is, as an adult, I’ve made very conscious choices about who my friends are and should be. I’ve little curiosity about what my former classmates are up to–excluding those whose friendships were important to me or the few who continue to be my good friends. I’ll admit, when I was living in New York, my friend Megan and I decided to create rumors about ourselves and see if they spread and it’s entirely possible the rumors that she was a stripper with implants and I was a dominatrix actually made their way into conversation…but I’d kind of forgotten we did that until I saw all those pictures of the folks I went to school with.

I was listening to RadioLab with Megan (not the Megan from the above paragraph, my wonderful girlfriend Megan) and it was about deception. A part of the hour was about this guy who decided to stop lying. He recounted a story about an evening he spent with people he didn’t really care for and then was invited out again–but didn’t want to go. He said he couldn’t make it (which was true that time), but when they asked what date was good for him, he said something to the extent of: I don’t have time for the friends I have…and this isn’t worth it.

Heh. Harsh, I suppose, but also true. I’ve used that in the past with people I’ve dated. You can call it mean, but it’s true–I have a lot of friends. People I don’t get to see nearly enough, and the only way I can really maintain new friendships is to be able to bring people together–which means there needs to be some hope that someone I see as a potential new friend would have good group interaction with the people I already love and make time for.

I was thinking about this quite explicitly last week, too, after my women and money class (yes, I am feeling rather empowered). The woman leading the class was talking about making time and financial decisions, specifically about how when she had four young children they were late to everything and she was always crabby. She decided she couldn’t do everything they’d been doing and had to make some decisions about that. People were upset with her because she wasn’t as available as she had been–one woman in class asked if her friends/others ever got over it. She said: they had to.

With the changes that have happened in my life this year, and with the changes that will start in the fall, I’m in one of those places. I’ve been on my own for so long, and completely uncommitted to anyone’s needs but my own, that people have gotten used to me being almost immediately available if something fun comes along. That’s just not the case anymore and it’s an adjustment for all involved. This isn’t to say that I’ve become some sort of homebody or anything, but that my life is structured differently. I’m really, really enjoying the difference and the way my life is changing and I know that in the end people will get used to scheduling things with me differently and I’ll somehow find time to hone the balance of work+relationship+school+friends as well as any human can.

I guess this has been a digression from the original paragraph, but it’s all tied together somehow. I guess I don’t really understand this need to reconnect with people I hardly know. I’m not adamantly against it or anything, I just don’t know how anyone has time for it. And I guess I feel differently about people I was friends with in college or graduate school. Those were years when I chose my environment… Maybe I’m just kind of a jerk. I can live with that too.

by Sara @ 12:15 pm

March 7, 2008

“It’s the death knell of this country”

Be warned: listening to this will make you upset.

But listen to it and email her. Via Blogactive.

Sally Kern

Give Oklahoma representative Sally Kern a ring/email:
(405) 557-7348
sallykern@okhouse.gov

by Sara @ 4:53 pm

Getting on the home page feels good.

The little web conference that could (MinneWebCon) has really taken off. We just made the University of Minnesota homepage. (At the bottom)

I’ve never had anything I was in leadership on have such a high profile and it’s really exciting. Yay me!!

MinneWebCon

by Sara @ 1:41 pm

February 28, 2008

Barack Obama’s open letter to LGBT peeps

So there’s an open letter from Barack Obama to the LGBT community that he released today. You can see the letter in its entirety on Wonkette. I’m going to post it here too, but I’m going to interrupt it with commentary.

I’m running for President to build an America that lives up to our founding promise of equality for all - a promise that extends to our gay brothers and sisters. It’s wrong to have millions of Americans living as second-class citizens in this nation. And I ask for your support in this election so that together we can bring about real change for all LGBT Americans.

Change! Actually, I rather like this opening statement. It’s not subtle. He comes right out and says that we’re second-class citizens. It’s great–but I’m not so easily impressed. I mean, we’ve been teased with hope before…

Equality is a moral imperative. That’s why throughout my career, I have fought to eliminate discrimination against LGBT Americans. In Illinois, I co-sponsored a fully inclusive bill that prohibited discrimination on the basis of both sexual orientation and gender identity, extending protection to the workplace, housing, and places of public accommodation.

Moral imperative. I like it. Actually, I think this section addresses part of that “he doesn’t have enough experience kind of thing.” He talks about the work he did for us in the Illinois senate. That he also addressed gender identity in this older bill is of interesting.

In the U.S. Senate, I have co-sponsored bills that would equalize tax treatment for same-sex couples and provide benefits to domestic partners of federal employees.

YES! Taxes! You know, this might not seem to be such an exciting thing…but let me tell you…as I’ve started trying to figure out economic issues for the future it has become brutally apparent that our economic lives is vastly more complicated and punished because all the tax structures of married folks are denied us. Throw in survivor pensions/benefits and I’ll be in a pool at your feet.

And as president, I will place the weight of my administration behind the enactment of the Matthew Shepard Act to outlaw hate crimes and a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act to outlaw workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Well. Sounds good to me.

As your President, I will use the bully pulpit to urge states to treat same-sex couples with full equality in their family and adoption laws. I personally believe that civil unions represent the best way to secure that equal treatment. But I also believe that the federal government should not stand in the way of states that want to decide on their own how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples — whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage.

This is a line that many on the blogs claim is him saying to the conservative states “I’ll ask you to do this, but I don’t really care–do whatever you want to them.” And I can’t blame them–anything “states rights”-like immediately rankles me because it’s often anti-woman, anti-gay, etc. However, I think he’s saying something else in this. He’s saying that the rights are the baseline. Equal treatment includes the things he’s spoken of–tax benefits and such–but that he’s not going to force the word “marriage.” Domestic partnership, civil union, civil marriage–states, call it what you would like. That’s just my interpretation. I don’t see this line as undercutting his argument.

Unlike Senator Clinton, I support the complete repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) - a position I have held since before arriving in the U.S. Senate.

Reminder: Bill Clinton signed DOMA. Just refreshing your memory about who put that in place.

While some say we should repeal only part of the law, I believe we should get rid of that statute altogether. Federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples, which is precisely what DOMA does.

Thanks, Bill.

I have also called for us to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and I have worked to improve the Uniting American Families Act so we can afford same-sex couples the same rights and obligations as married couples in our immigration system.

Again, hey, thanks Bill Clinton for DADT. Rockin.

The next president must also address the HIV/AIDS epidemic. When it comes to prevention, we do not have to choose between values and science. While abstinence education should be part of any strategy, we also need to use common sense. We should have age-appropriate sex education that includes information about contraception. We should pass the JUSTICE Act to combat infection within our prison population. And we should lift the federal ban on needle exchange, which could dramatically reduce rates of infection among drug users. In addition, local governments can protect public health by distributing contraceptives.

The abstinence line rankles me–but I see what he’s doing here…when I see an action plan for what it means, I’ll have more to say. It could be good (develop body positivity and develop conscious choice-making) or bad (here’s how you use a condom IF YOU’RE A WHOREDEVILHELLBOUNDSLUT!)

We also need a president who’s willing to confront the stigma - too often tied to homophobia - that continues to surround HIV/AIDS. I confronted this stigma directly in a speech to evangelicals at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, and will continue to speak out as president. That is where I stand on the major issues of the day. But having the right positions on the issues is only half the battle. The other half is to win broad support for those positions. And winning broad support will require stepping outside our comfort zone. If we want to repeal DOMA, repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and implement fully inclusive laws outlawing hate crimes and discrimination in the workplace, we need to bring the message of LGBT equality to skeptical audiences as well as friendly ones - and that’s what I’ve done throughout my career. I brought this message of inclusiveness to all of America in my keynote address at the 2004 Democratic convention. I talked about the need to fight homophobia when I announced my candidacy for President, and I have been talking about LGBT equality to a number of groups during this campaign - from local LGBT activists to rural farmers to parishioners at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where Dr. Martin Luther King once preached.

I’ve seen video of this. It’s impressive. I blogged about it before. Really impressive, bringing a sore topic up in a room that is not only skeptical, but largely hostile to our struggle. It’s, as I said, impressive.

Just as important, I have been listening to what all Americans have to say. I will never compromise on my commitment to equal rights for all LGBT Americans. But neither will I close my ears to the voices of those who still need to be convinced. That is the work we must do to move forward together. It is difficult. It is challenging. And it is necessary.

Again, some in the blogosphere are saying “What? Listen to the bigots?” Well…you never know what arguments will work with people if you don’t talk to them. Just sayin.

Americans are yearning for leadership that can empower us to reach for what we know is possible. I believe that we can achieve the goal of full equality for the millions of LGBT people in this country. To do that, we need leadership that can appeal to the best parts of the human spirit. Join with me, and I will provide that leadership. Together, we will achieve real equality for all Americans, gay and straight alike.

Damn straight, Obama.

by Sara @ 7:33 pm

February 21, 2008

What I have learned lately

Working full-time + one graduate class + planning a conference + my women and money class + social life = a sadly lagging blog.

I’m not going to go off on any current events right now–there are oh so many, from the stupid sex thing in the Times about McCain to Bill-O’s “lynch” comment about Michelle Obama–I promise that I will soon, but I’m just plain tired.

Right now I just want to say that I’m coming to New York in early June with Megan and I’m so excited for my NY people to meet her because she’s just so very lovely and you’re going to adore her. Yay New York! I’ve missed you, you drunken, dirty city, you.

I promise to come back soon with snark…

by Sara @ 4:39 pm

February 4, 2008

Online dating services and your $$$

So this sort of amuses me. From the US News & World Report via Jezebel:

Not only do you have to worry about your heart while making dates online, but now your wallet is at risk, too. The Better Business Bureau reports today that complaints about online dating services are on the rise.

The most common gripe? Poor matches. Consumers said they were set up with people who did not meet their criteria, including some who were already married or who smoked despite their request for a nonsmoker.

And the bad dates came at a hefty price, with many services costing upwards of $50 a month.

To protect your money (and heart), the BBB recommends that you be skeptical of advertising for online dating, do a Web search before signing up to see if others have complained about the company, and stand strong against high-pressure sales tactics and automatic contract renewals. (And remember, you can always dispute unfair charges with your credit card company.)

Wow, $50/month?!

Crazy what people will pay when you have free things advertising your single/dating status like, oh, Myspace or OK Cupid or Friendster or Facebook

Well, I’m going to assume that the dating “services” that are so spendy are catering to a different segment of the population….

Because, you know, as for bad matches…I’ve gotten myself enough IRL bad matches or blind date set-ups to take the online snorers or weirdos in stride. Expecting some online test to perfectly pair you with your dream-person is just dumb. It’s just as dumb as assuming the really hot person you spot from across the room is your dream-person before she opens her mouth. Dumb.

I’m just going to, for a moment, cheerlead and say that my experiences with online dating weren’t any worse than my non-online dating experiences…and that I met the girl I’m blindingly, completely, giddily in love with on OK Cupid and despite our shared interests, values, etc…I’m not sure when we would have ever met in person. I have friends who are friends with her friends, but I can’t think of a social situation where we would have been put together. Nor do I think anyone would have set us up…yet I’ve never met anyone more perfect for me.

Thank you, Internet. I heart you.

by Sara @ 5:24 pm

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