September 2010
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Sara's bookshelf: currently-reading

  • Nox

    Nox
    Anne Carson

Sara's bookshelf: to-read

June 23, 2010

Sleeping, waking, and damned revelations

When Megan started at the library, her 9 a.m. work time changed as well. The onset of her new job was also the onset of an 8 a.m. work time and a 6:30 a.m. wake time. We carpool in together because it seemed silly to go separately, and pay separately for transit, when we’re going to the same place.

For the entire school year, I was sluggish and tired. I blamed school/work stress. That probably was at least in part true. But what was also at play was a slowly building sleep deficit that was starting to drive me crazy.

Hi, my name is Sara, and I’m a night owl. Always have been, always will be. At around 9:30 p.m. I get a flush of energy - the desire to write, to play music, to clean - and tend to be pretty up until nearly midnight. It used to be 1 a.m., but I’m trying to go to bed earlier with Megan.

So, I’d been going on this sleep deficit, as well as the stress from work and school, and I just broke. I have to get up after 7.

To those people who would say “you think you have it bad!? I get up at 5!” I say thpbbbbbt. You probably also walk uphill to work both ways too. You are my problem, though, because you are the voice in my head telling me that going to work from 9-5:30 is luxurious.

It’s not, though. The last two days, I’ve been going into work at nine. I am a different person. I don’t spend the morning in a half-daze trying to get things done. I can focus again.

I came home tonight completely energized, carrying five bags of mulch with me and proceeded to deal with the yard for three more hours. Last week, I was incapable of doing this on a work night, where I came home and hovered in a daze until 9:30 at night when, guess what, energy came. I would fight and swear and curse at it. Why?

We as a society should spend a hell of a lot less time judging the tenacity of people by the time they wake up, and a lot more time looking at peoples’ actual productivity. Mine is up. Probably because I am.

In other, completely unrelated news, I was listening to music as I was gardening and an Ani song came up in the mix. An Ani song that gave me a revelation into things brewing in my life right now. I will repeat, I had a revelation while listening to an Ani song - because of that song. I don’t know that I could possibly get any gayer right now. I thought I would make that embarrassing thing public because, well, why not?

by Sara @ 9:57 pm