Syndicate and Hague

So there’s going to be a marriage equality bill of some sort weaving its way through the Minnesota legislature this year, and it’s nice and will lay good groundwork for the future, but with Pawlenty in office for the next two years, nothing is going to happen. If anything does happen, I will happily be rendered speechless, but in the meantime…

State Sen. Paul Koering came out a few years ago. He’s a Republican, which is relevant in that his status as gay has not equaled any sort of desire to protect peoples’ civil rights. According to the MN Independent, he said that “he would vote against it because the state faces bigger problems.”

I think that’s the new Republican line. It’s a crisis, we have no time for gay rights! Except that, well, marriage is also a financial structure and when people are losing their jobs…relationships with a little government backing have another layer of security in place. A crisis is actually a very compelling time to right the wrongs that we have entrenched into our laws.

But tonight I’m mentally throwing my hands up in the air. They always have some excuse for not dealing with things - politically and personally. If we have a relationship that’s public, we’re “flaunting our sexuality,” and if we keep things private, we’re lying to them. There’s never the right time, the right place, the right venue to have conversations about our lives.

And, yes, I’m totally talking around something right now. But it isn’t mine to wave around online, in public, so I’m trying to make a roundabout argument and failing. So here’s what I’m going to say:

Get over yourselves.

I’m so sick of bigots acting like seeing gay couples holding hands is the equivalent of having hardcore pornography paraded down the street (*think of the children!!*). I’m sick of bigots moping and whining about how hard it is to have to endure the existence of people whose lives don’t mirror their own. Yes, it must be so freakin hard for you to wake up every morning knowing somewhere two guys got out of bed together and are eating cereal. The agony!

This entire blog post sucks. I’m not eloquent, I’m not crafting a damn thing…I’m just exhausted and pissed off. I’m pissed at the bigots and I’m pissed at people like Koering whose capitulations just encourage them.

In other news, my mom got in a fight with a conservative friend of my dad’s the other night during which time I believe she called W a baboon. Which, if you knew her, would be hilarious. I also got her thinking about calling Pawlenty to yell at him about how her daughter has to leave the state to get married. That would be awesome.

I have always taken particular delight in people calling me names. Even guilt by association delights me — the “Warrior of Satan” brand that was thrust upon Angie for being pro-choice; the uncountable number of times I’ve been called a bitch, dyke, feminazi or what have you for being feminist; the plentiful times I’ve been called a socialist for believing we have an obligation to those around us; even the times the letters/op-ed pieces/blogs have caused my name and location to appear (negatively) on pro-gun websites or garnered me hate mail at my home.

Bring it. Those kinds of responses mean that you can’t engage on the issues, that you have nothing to bring to the table. Intellectual laziness.

I’ve been thinking about my ideological journey — and what it means to be an educated, opinionated woman–this week, in part because of the way NOW and Gloria Steinem have essentially accused young women of not being feminists for not supporting Clinton’s candidacy.

Hillary Clinton will get my vote in a race against a Republican, but she will never get it in a Democratic primary. She is too hawkish, too economically conservative to represent my brand of Democrat regardless of her gender.

However, she and her supporters are entirely correct when they say that she is treated unfairly due to her gender. From the outfit critiques (so many pantsuits! - side note on that: I think my mother is right in saying that if HC wore skirts, the media would insult her legs) to super close-ups of her wrinkles on Drudge to her “cackle” to the media’s repeated use of her first name while using her competitors’ last names to calling her Mrs. instead of Senator.

Even worse is how a woman isn’t allowed to be a tough leader. That this was part of some 20 year, conspiratorial Clinton plan.

The truth is that female leaders can’t have it either way. If you’re not as tough as the boys, you’re a weak woman (Patti Wetterling, Ann Wynia), and if you are, you’re a cold, calculating bitch with a shrill voice. Don’t believe me? Google any female politician with discernible opinions (any political party) with the word “shrill.” I’ll wait.

You could expand this game. Now search men. Funny, isn’t it, how it’s only used when trying to make the man histrionic and womanish?

You could expand this game even further. Replace shrill with bitch or cackle or giggle or clothing or fashion or iron my shirt.

In this, I risk you giving me other anti-feminist monikers: overly serious, humorless, blahdeefrigginblah.

Here’s the deal though, folks. Sexism is alive and well. And even though Steinem and my cohorts on the left sometimes drive me crazy with what they do with the truth, it doesn’t make what they say any less true. Clinton has it rough because she’s a woman. She really is trying to break a glass ceiling.

If you don’t believe me, dig a little and find out what your male peers make. If you don’t work in a male-dominated office/field, ask some women who do what their experiences are. And remember, always remember, that the women who ascend in terms of power and money are almost always regarded as bitches.

As for me, I know the monikers I’ve been given: bitch, know-it-all, bleeding heart, feminazi, socialist, dyke, opinionated, godless, knee-jerk.

Again, I say bring it. I’ve been engaged in ideological battles since I could speak (a benefit of a highly educated and political family and a father who heartily enjoys playing devil’s advocate and forcing me to actually debate) and I’ve been successfully battling the sexism thrown at me for all thirty of my years on this planet (a benefit of having a mother who was determined to have a strong and independent daughter), so let’s go!

God, Sara, where’s your sense of humor? Don’t be such a bitch…