Posts Tagged ‘ sadness

I am ready to be done now

Back in April when Megan and I fled our insane and scary living situation, we had just put a very reasonable – but low – offer on a house in an absolutely dreamy part of Minneapolis. Yes, we had to leave in the middle of the night; yes, we had to put all our things in storage; yes, we were getting married in less than a month; yes, it was hard to crash here and there with two cats and a dog; yes, it was the end of the semester; but we would get the house and live happily ever after the end.

Ha. Hahahaha. HA.

This is our third month of “transition.” Technically, we are homeless. Homeless as in “no permanent address,” not homeless as in “sleeping in a shelter,” but still…the state of being unsettled sends out ripples in every direction. Concentration, sleep, creativity, motivation, money – they all decrease.

I have reminded myself repeatedly of our privilege. We had to move suddenly, but we had enough resources to buy boxes and rent a storage space and even get movers to take things to storage. We had places to stay – sure, we had to move around a bit, and staying with other people is stressful for all involved, but we got to keep our animals with us. We were (and are) homeless in the most privileged way – we’re waiting to close on a house. And it’s keeping us in limbo.

However, it’s starting to drive us insane. Every time we think things are ready to go, something else happens to throw a wrench into the ordeal. It’s the problem of trying to buy a short sale, and of a real estate market full of insanity. But we’ve just come to a point today where – unless something dramatic changes – we may have to walk away from a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood for reasons that have nothing to do with us.

I am building walls around my heart (I love this house) in an attempt to prepare myself for the worst. Aside from our love for this house (we’ve not seen anything we like nearly as much), though, is how exhausted we are from all this. The idea that we have to move yet again in August – after we just moved again in July, and without knowing if/when we’ll get the house – it’s making me lose my damn mind. To have gotten the banks to accept our offer and now have it on the verge of falling through…

My writing life has suffered greatly from lack of stability, as has any research I was planning to do this summer for school. Instead I spend an inordinate amount of time creating false structures of stability around me. And try to remind myself of how much worse it could be. Because it could always be worse.

But here is my confidential to the banks moment:

You suck. You suck. You suck. You loaned people money when they had no way of repaying it. You inflated the housing market to a disastrous point. No one knows what the hell anything costs anymore because of you – and appraisals are now all over the place. You facilitated peoples’ desperation or greed or ignorance to a point where you were all bound to fail. You’re not making any money on this damned short sale that you’re holding on to. Every day that goes by is another day this beautiful house is vacant, and is another day of disrepair. You suck. Take the losses you’ve brought on yourself. You suck, you suck, you suck.

The saga of my car

On Friday at 11 p.m. some (probably) drunk jerk in a Land Rover smashed into my parked car right outside my living room window. It was scary.

This is my car now:

my destroyed car

My own personal sleuthing and some help from the local Land Rover dealer (not that any of you are Land Rover buyers, but if you happen to be in the market, Tim Fox from Jaguar Land Rover Minneapolis was super nice and helpful in my quest, so I thought I’d give him a plug) led me to what you see below.

The drunk, nasty jerk who hit my precious, precious car drove something like what you see below. A dark-colored Land Rover Discovery, circa 2000-2002. If you see such a vehicle with any damage to it, get me the license plate number as soon as you can. Below is what it would look like (sort of Jeep Cherokee-like, but taller)

I know I said I’d have an issues post by yesterday, but it’s been kind of a stressful weekend. So you’ll have to be patient…

ACK! Why feminism isn’t a relic.

This breaks my heart. Via Feministing:

Men presidents only

I think that having a woman president would be a bad idea for our country. Women are not meant to rule countries and be in charge. They are meant to make decisions but not confirm them.

Our president deals with some countries that don’t respect or allow women in leadership positions. I wonder if the United States would have more terrorist attacks because we would be seen as weak with a woman leader. I agree that women can do many things, but leave the ruling of the countries to the men.

BRITTANY BAYLES, 13, Kennewick