I think I couldn’t say it better than this: be careful who you hire as your legislative assistant, people.

I wrote a short email (about 3 short paragraphs) to Sen. Koering explaining how tired the phrasing “we have more pressing issues” is in regard to refusal to support the marriage equality bill in MN. I noted that, as a gay man, he should know better. That marriage is about economic security, among other things. That at this economically scary time this is in fact the ideal topic to be discussed because it affects GLBT people’s homes and health care and jobs. I noted that we’re leaving the state to get married in May (yay!) and are happy about it, but that not being able to legally marry here puts parts of our shared lives in jeopardy. With her parents being unsupportive to say the least, I’ll be frank, I’m nervous about what they would do to us in a crisis. I noted that marriage would provide protection for us on a number of levels, and repeated that he should know better. End of email.

This gem is what I got back. (Seriously, at least read the bolded parts. This is from Koering’s legislative assistant. This is professional communication.)

My name is Ken Swecker, Senator Koering’s Legislative Assistant. Senator Koering and I both would like to respond to the e-mails we’ve been receiving regarding his intention to not vote in favor of Senate File 120. I am currently responding to the e-mails to give you the Senator’s home phone number so that you might call him over the weekend and speak with him personally on the matter. This much he asked me to do.

To add to that, as a personal statement, is to say that SF 120 is something that the majority of the People of Senate District 12, the People that he was elected to represent, do not favor this piece of legislation. In case you have forgotten, we are a government of the People, by the People, and for the People. He was not elected serve his personal interests. I personally believe that instead of sending e-mails full of threats and hateful words you should take his example to heart and congratulate him on being a legislator who cares more about what the People of his district want than what he may want personally. You and I both know that this is a rare quality to find, and just because this is contrary to how you wish for him to vote, you must remember and respect he is here to represent the interests of his rural Minnesota constituents who voted him into office. As a constituent of his myself, I am happy to see him take non-personal votes on several issues. After all, I would not want another politician taking another vote that would serve his or her personal interests more so than the People’s, would you?

I can testify all day long about how much Senator Koering cares for the People of Senate District 12. He ran three consecutive times, being defeated the first two, and why did he put himself through so much hard work? Do you think it was because he needed another job? Absolutely not! He did it because he believed he was the best person to serve the People that he calls neighbors, friends, and family. And especially now, in a time like this, we are being bogged down with this completely pointless issue. There are People in Morrison and Crow Wing Counties, and across the State who are losing their jobs, their homes, their insurance, and were you to ask them if this is an issue that should take one second of precedent over these conditions they’re facing every day, do you believe, do you honestly believe that they would say to you, ‘Yes, please, waste the time of the State Legislature with a piece of legislation that will not help, but in fact, overshadow the current situation we’re living in? Please, waste their time with this piece of legislation while I tell my son and daughter that mom and dad aren’t hungry tonight?’

I know very well that you will respond to this e-mail of mine with some probably quirky, snide, and very thoughtless comment that will make me out to be a bad person and threaten the Senator even more just as most of the absolutely tactless and disrespectful e-mails we’ve received have been written, but really, don’t waste your time. We’ll just put your e-mail where it belongs, in the trash.

The Senator’s home number is
xxx-xxx-xxxx

He’s free on the weekends.

Very Sincerely, every word of it,
Ken Swecker

P.S.
I hope you do not believe that this e-mail was written specific to the one that you sent, this is a blanket e-mail, being sent to everyone who has e-mailed us on this issue and I’ve already wasted too much time in responding to you. Good day.

Senator Paul Koering
District 12
131 State Office Building
St. Paul, MN 55155-1206
Phone:651-296-4875

Can I just repeat that the very things Swecker goes positively loony tunes over are the things I addressed to Sen. Koering in my letter? I mean, I know they don’t read those things. But couldn’t they have sorted the letters out and responded to reasonable ones like mine with a less bitchy letter? Ah professionalism…